13 things about him
by SunRises6
Summary: It was a life worth living. Uchiha Fugaku, from the beginning to the end.


**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, a certain character would have died a long time ago.**

**(Unbeta-ed. I really need a beta reader. Damn my sister for not helping)**

* * *

_i. simple_

His life had been easy.

Unlike many others that struggled to find who they were in life, he had already been defined since he was born. His existence was for the clan and the clan only. He would eat, drink, breath and bleed for his clan. The clan's best interests were in his every movement.

There simply was no _Fugaku_. There was only _Uchiha_.

He was C_lan Leader_.

Pure and simple.

* * *

_ii. playground_

He thought often about other kids' everyday life.

Whenever he managed to steal a glance at them playing at Konoha public playground – a place that worked like a carefully-drawn distance, separating his world and theirs – he vaguely imagined how their lives were.

He wondered if they also had to wake up at five for morning training because _it's a shame on our clan if the heir is incompetent. _Then they had to eat a breakfast that was supposed to be full of nutrition but tasted so bad they must force themselves to gulp it down. Then they had to look utterly presentable and come to school and ace all the tests there. Then they would come home and practice until they couldn't stand anymore and proceed to have another full-of-nutrition meal. Then before going to sleep, instead of bedtime stories, they had to listen and learn by heart what it took to be an excellent clan leader. Then when they were sleeping, they would dream of a tomorrow full of exciting adventures.

Then again, the fact that they were inside the playground and he was outside probably told him all he needed to know.

* * *

_iii. mirror_

He had this fascination with mirror.

It's not that he was a narcissist or something like that; he was just trying to look for something. But for what exactly, he himself didn't know.

Whenever he looked at the mirror, he always mused that if the light was right and the mirror was at a particular angle and if he squinted hard enough, he might see _that something_. Maybe he could see a young boy who looked every bit mischievous with unruly black hair and lively black eyes and a grin that reached his eyes instead of a young boy with guarded eyes, stiff shoulders, carefully combed hair and a mouth that was never used for anything besides talking and eating.

Weird, he thought. Who was the stranger – a boy whose appearance was proper in all the wrong ways – that stared back at him every time?

_Where is he?_

Wasn't mirror supposed to exactly reflect whatever object had contact with it?

* * *

_iv. love_

It wasn't love at first sight.

In fact, he didn't even remember when he first met her or if he did meet her at all. It had always been a pool of pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair to him. And he made no effort to see which one had the most beautiful pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair because _aren't they all the same._

But one day, he recognized her.

No, she recognized him.

It started simple enough. They were having a casual conversation, one between teammates and clan members. However, he had realized something odd about the girl that looked like many others in their clan.

The light wasn't right, there was no particular angle and he wasn't squinting but he could _hear_ himself she was listening to and he could _see_ himself reflected in her clear dark eyes – clearer than any mirror.

_Himself, not Clan Leader._

Suddenly, there was no more blur of pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair.

There was Mikoto and there was Fugaku.

And he was in love.

* * *

_v. her_

He had every intention to let her go.

He desired her bright smile, her gentle voice and her tender touch so much it hurt. He desired her warm presence whenever she wasn't by his side. He desired the peace she covered his heart with. He desired pieces of _Fugaku_ she brought out of him.

He desired a happily-ever-after with her.

And that's why he must let her go.

He could already see far ahead what was waiting for her as an Uchiha matriarch. All of her being would be devoured completely until there was only _Clan Leader's wife_ left.

Fugaku didn't want it to happen. He wouldn't allow his selfishness to ruin her life.

But Mikoto had reminded him of why she was the woman he loved.

She cupped his face in the hands that he loved so much and whispered, "Fugaku, everyone is _allowed_ happiness."

It's almost ridiculous how her words easily shattered his will.

* * *

_vi. alive_

He would never forget their wedding day.

It had been a full moon, the brightest and most beautiful he'd ever seen. And Fugaku liked to think he was receiving a blessing from heaven for the happiest day in his life.

But, he murmured to himself, even the moon couldn't compare to the light and beauty of Mikoto that day.

She was breath-taking in every way possible.

_For him and him only._

They explored each other and connected themselves beyond words and touches as she murmured sweet _I love you _between kisses, as he caressed every fiber of her being and as Clan Leader – for the first time – disappeared among their swirling passion, leaving only Fugaku to savor this divine moment.

He came alive in her embrace.

* * *

_vii. family_

Fugaku still remembered the first time he held his two sons in his arms.

They had been little, fragile beings that blinked curiously at him, slightly tilting their heads often as they did so. Their chubby fingers tried to reach his face and their puffy mouths formed incoherent words. Large onyx eyes looked up at him with all the innocence that only existed in babies.

Fugaku felt happiness and pride clutch his heart.

And he couldn't even start to describe his feeling on those nights, when Mikoto – with Sasuke in her arms – rested her head on his shoulder – with Itachi sitting beside him – and talked about everything and nothing under that clear, starry sky.

He never knew peace could be this simple.

He had been under the control of Clan Leader but at least, his family – Mikoto, Itachi and Sasuke – was his very own choice.

* * *

_viii. irony_

Itachi wasn't cut out to be a shinobi.

Many would have laughed at him if he told them this. They would tell him if that boy – who graduated at seven, mastered the Sharingan at eight, became chuunin at ten and ANBU captain at thirteen – wasn't cut out to be a shinobi, who would?

Then again, they didn't witness that very same child come back from missions with blood staining his uniform and an equally stained kunai in his trembling hands. They didn't witness that golden child – curled up under his blanket – cry in silence for those he had killed.

They simply didn't witness bit and bit of sanity and humanity start to slip out of that child's eyes.

Clan Leader laughed satisfyingly because of the genius that was bestowed upon the clan by Kami-sama.

Fugaku laughed bitterly because of the irony of it all.

* * *

_ix. agreement_

He was angry.

No, that was an understatement.

He was beyond mad when he found out about what Konoha had been doing to _his_ clan.

So this oppression and separation were Konoha's answer to years of many Uchiha bleeding and dying for the village's sake; years of protecting the village with their lives; years of children shedding tears for their dead parents and vowing to grow up heroic like that.

So because they were so damned powerful and did a fucking good job at guarding the village, this was Konoha's answer?

He couldn't accept it and didn't want to either.

Why couldn't Konoha understand that, to the village, the Uchiha might be just one of its many clans but to the Uchiha, Konoha was their only home?

If this village really wasn't able to comprehend that then it had another thing coming.

When Uchiha Fugaku finally agreed to the coup d'état, proposed by the Elders, he realized that this was the first time _Fugaku_ and _Clan Leader_ came to an agreement.

* * *

_x. shinobi_

The day after the rebellion was decided, Fugaku took a day off from his usual duty.

He spent that day on walking around the village in his Jounin uniform, Konoha hitai-ate proudly tied around his forehead.

He visited the Jounin headquarters to have a little chat with his old teammates, much to their surprise. He visited the Hokage to discuss a few things about the Police Force. He visited some other clan leaders to have simple diplomatic talks. He visited the academy to watch possible legends-in-the-making. He visited the training grounds that he used to train at – on rare occasions – with his Genin team. He visited those sweets shops that he wasn't allowed to go as a child.

And when the day came to an end, he visited the Hokage Mountain.

Standing at the top of the mountain, he watched as lanterns were lit, creating lines of light and painting a beautiful picture of Konoha at night. He listened as shops' owners chatted happily among the noise of closing doors. He closed his eyes and let the night breeze embrace him, _comfort_ him.

Fugaku allowed himself a moment of remembering why he loved Konoha in the first place.

Then, slowly but surely, he untied his hitai-ate and brought out a kunai.

And as any self-respecting traitor would do, he slashed across the Konoha symbol.

A Konoha shinobi died that day.

* * *

_xi. father_

Sometimes, he suspected, Itachi was the personification of his deeply-buried thought about clan leader and Uchiha.

Ridiculously ironic, Fugaku realized, the clan's pride wasn't cut out to be an Uchiha either.

He had seen the way Itachi talked about Konoha. Gently. Lovingly. Proudly. Openly. And all the things he wasn't when he was reminded of his role as a future clan leader and his responsibility to the clan. Whenever talked about the Uchiha clan, Itachi's eyes would always narrow for a split second – so quick that no one could catch that.

Clan Leader was blind but Fugaku wasn't.

He noticed many nights when his first son sneaked out of the compound; noticed the slight change in his behavior; noticed the way his eyes engulfed in guilt when he was greeted warmly by his clansmen; noticed that sadness when he hugged his mom and poked his brother's forehead; noticed _that something_ Fugaku had forgotten about long ago when Itachi – _not Uchiha_ – looked at him in the eyes.

Despite Clan Leader's better judgment that Itachi must be stopped, Fugaku – as a father that failed his sons too much – let him choose his path.

* * *

_xii. future_

As fate would have it, Sasuke was born to be the exact opposite of Itachi.

Not as talented. Not as intelligent. Not as subtle. Not as gentle. But twice as proud of being an Uchiha.

The irony wasn't lost on Fugaku.

But, even though his little boy was as Uchiha as one could be, he was shining in the pool of darkness.

Innocent. Trusting. Loving. Caring.

_Too much for his own good._

It would be his downfall someday but at this moment, Fugaku could only be astonished at the fact that an Uchiha boy, child of Clan Leader no less, possessed such precious traits.

When Sasuke smiled brightly at his fellow clan members, when Sasuke followed his brother around with such admiration, when Sasuke hugged his mother with all the love in the world and when Sasuke proudly, respectably, showed him his new techniques, Fugaku could feel something break inside him.

He wondered if Sasuke was supposed to be the personification of his love and hope for the clan.

People assumed that he only turned his attention to his second son because all expectation was lost on the first one. They couldn't be more wrong.

Clan Leader saw failure.

Fugaku saw future.

* * *

_xiii. life_

He had anticipated this ending.

Itachi came to his parents' room with blood staining his uniform and an equally stained sword in his trembling hands. The only difference was that the blood on his son belonged not to enemies but to his own kin. Though, he supposed, in a way they were his enemies on the road to peace.

But seeing Itachi's shaking hands and Itachi's unrestrained tears reminded him of a gentleness like no other.

And Fugaku told one of his greatest prides just as much.

Then he embraced Mikoto and their worlds, together, faded out in the silence of Itachi's crying.

As his world turned bright and white, a mischievous young boy with unruly dark hair stood before him, grinning.

And he could see images of his life reflected in the boy's lively black eyes.

A lonely boy born with the destiny of a clan leader.

A young man found himself lost in his own life.

A man unable to bring happiness to his family.

A clan leader failed to protect his clan.

A shinobi betrayed his village.

A person that could only express his true feelings in the last moment.

_Aa_, Fugaku smiled back at the boy, _but it was a life worth living_.

* * *

This piece was inspired by Naruto 590 since Itachi's sob story didn't touch me as much as his parents' last moment.

I believe that his father was seen as someone strict and slightly cruel at the beginning because we were seeing him through Sasuke's eyes, the second child that was supposedly neglected by his father. Chap 590 pretty much proved that his father loved both of them equally. However, I think, as clan leader, he was forced to pay more attention to the more talented Itachi, not to mention him being the first child. And also that thing about the coup d'état. From my point of view, Fugaku probably wasn't the one to come up with this. This decision was come up with and finalized by the entire clan. I don't think that being a clan leader allows you to do anything you want, as proven by Madara's case. He was, and arguably still is, the most powerful Uchiha of all time but once his ideal went against the clan's best interests, they abandoned him.

Anyways, this is basically my take on Fugaku's character. I apologize for any OOC-ness/incoherence/grammar errors/misspellings/wording/etc. I may come back to edit something here and there if I have enough time and motivation lol.

Finally, read and review pretty please:3


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